Monday, October 21, 2013

Too many cooks

Self-doubt is a killer. But what is worse is when you see how many super intelligent people with great ideas allow themselves to get paralyzed by it. Their solution: look for constant validation from others.

In the workplace this translates into questioning decisions that have already been made, asking opinions from everyone and their mother, trying to find some thread of certainty so that they can be sure they have made the "right" decision.

When you are in the throes of self doubt, I invite you to consider:
a) if you ask 12 different people you will get 12 different answers, b) When you ask someone on the spot who has not had all the time you have had to go through the thought process, they will usually give you the easiest, most comfortable answer that comes to them, which is Keep Things the Same. c)Why do we think these people know better? d) You will feel worse the more people you ask e) the only certainty is what is uncertain.

In the end, the people who invite too many cooks into the kitchen never get the soup made. And, unfortunately, all of the back and forth emails, comments, criticisms, conversations, hesitations may make you feel busy, but, guess what, they are not really work. They are excuses NOT to change.

You want to be daring, courageous, innovative, cunning, respected? Make a decision. Even if it's the wrong one, you're still proving you're ready to go somewhere.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Everyone is on a plane but me!

Ed and Klementina  just boarded the plane. Klementina is on a flight from Rome to Trieste. She went down there for the day with one of our funnest clients and hasn't told me one DETAIL of what happened and I am DYING to know how it went. Ed is on a flight from NYC to LA. He is going to attend a meeting with one of our clients and go right on back to NYC. I am feeling GOOD and PROUD and CONFIDENT about what they are doing. I kind of miss them, though. They both had to turn off their phones at the same time, so no text messages, no nuthin! Sigh.

So what am I doing at home? Having a spritz of course (For you non-Triestini, that's a glass of white wine with a splash of sparkling water and a wedge of lemon) and waiting for them to land.

Delicious!

Monday, September 23, 2013

This time thing is becoming problematic

I got up today and made a list of everything I wanted to accomplish today. There were 24 items on it. The problem is that I completed everything in less than two hours.

Which means 1. My idea of time is completely messed up and 2. now I have to deal with the consequences of being MEGA PRODUCTIVE including, but not limited, to:

Having to think of new things to do.
Other people expecting more of me (especially once they know how much I am capable of when I focus).
Doing things I want to put off.
and, ultimately, Success, which is much harder to deal with than Failure.

But I am not going to think about that for now. What I really need is a new list.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

I now have all the time in the world to do what I need to do

I always feel like I am late for something. I look at my watch, I panic. I obsess. I show up to everything early. I mean like really early.

And then I wait. I sometimes have a book with me. Or my notebook. That helps.

But yesterday I tried something new. I decided to change my perception of time from something that is SCARCE to something that is ABUNDANT.

Results? OMG. I was very productive. At every moment I fought against my natural urge NOT to do something because I "didn't have time." and you know what? I had time to do a hell of a lot of things. Way more than I ever thought possible. Here they are.

1. Woke up, took a shower, left the house.
2. Took the fast bus as far is it would go.
3. Got off, took the other bus to the station.
4. Bought my train tickets for the day.
5. Found the bus in front of the station (Surpise 1) and took it to the university.
6. Signed a contract there.
7. Found a friend there and had coffee with her (here is where I started sweating, but I did it anyway)
8. Walked 200m to the apartment we are renovating (my bus passed by, sweating sweating) and went in, grabbed a bunch of scrap material I knew needed to go into the garbage bin in the street, dumped it. (This stop, which was not URGENT and not PLANNED ahead of time was the act of COURAGE that defined the rest of my day).
9. Got off the bus at court house (Surprise 2, who knew it stopped there?) and ran to P. Oberdan to take the bus to Prosecco (more sweat, felt grateful. Couldn't believe I made it).
10. Arrived 10 minutes later than my self-imposed arrival time to get baby at daycare. No big deal.
11. Laughed and played with daughter at bus stop because I was not worried about time. Did not feel late or panicky. How fun!
12. Got on bus back downtown, called mother-in-law to pick up daughter in 20 minutes.
13. Arrived downtown, packed sleeping daughter into mother-in-law's car, asked her to drop me off at station.
14. Went to newspaper kiosk to ask if a magazine had come out. It hadn't.
15. Went to grocery store in station to buy water.
16. Got on train 4 minutes before it was supposed to leave (normally at least 30 minutes before).
17. Arrived in Cervignano, Klem picked me up.
18. Had lunch
19 Drove to meeting, finished it.
20. Went to visit another client just to say hi (Another act of COURAGE because not URGENT or PLANNED):
21. Went to train station. RAN to the train and stamped ticket at 4:58 and got on. Train left at 4:59. (Did I mention I had to reapply deodorant three times yesterday?)
22. Felt HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY and relaxed on the train.
23. Arrived in Trieste at 6:07, had to pee and actually WENT TO THE BATHROOM.
24. Arrived at Italian American Association to see guest speaker from my town speak. Felt relaxed.
25. Daughter and husband arrived, we went for pizza with group (no plan ahead of time).
26. Came home, put daughter to bed.
27. Had a drink with husband and talked about the day. Smiled, Laughed.
28. At 11:00 we went to bed.

And I wasn't late for anything.

It is okay not to have an office but you MUST have meetings

These are the ones with wi-fi
Not having a real office is a great thing. It's free, it's fun, it gives you a chance to work in different places.

When people talk about the benefits of not having an office, they usually cite (after the cost savings) the fact that you are more productive because you no longer "waste your time" in face-to-face meetings. That is where I disagree. If you don't have a physical office, those meetings are really important. You MUST have meetings.

Human contact is where it's at. It's where all the good ideas come out. Klementina and I were really productive on the train together last week, for example. We were able to do what would normally take us a couple of days in just an hour of concentrated collaboration in person (we are business partners but we live in different cities).  We also had time for friendship maintenance, which requires a lot of time for telling stories and laughing.

Yesterday we had an excellent meeting with Ed in New York via Skype (our other partner), and Klementina and I were somewhere outside of Udine, Italy with our client. The agenda was well-organized beforehand so that we could get a lot done in a short time. In the end it was creative, positive, happy. We all left energized and excited. People time is important for solidifying relationships with clients, but also with partners.

Last week we had a meeting that went in the opposite direction. On paper everything was perfect. We had been asked to participate in a meeting with a couple of other companies whose services seemed complementary to ours. We were really excited about the possibilities. Then we got there and had the meeting and realized that it was not at all what we expected. There was no feeling of collaboration or understanding. We couldn't have known that without sitting down with them at the same table and talking about what we do, though. Was it wasted time? Maybe, but we did learn a few things anyway. One of them being that the feeling you get from someone when you spend time with them is important. Just having a "bad vibe" with just one person can poison a whole project unless you do some tweaking and communicating and clarifying. You can also avoid those situations altogether by sitting down together ahead of time to figure out if your working styles are compatible.

At any rate, for all the meeting haters out there, the important thing is to create a balance so that you get the most out of both working autonomously and with your partners so that you feel free yet supported when it's time to create.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

If you want money Create a Relationship

At the non-profit I run (with 50 or so volunteers) people are constantly coming to us (yes, they come to us) wanting to give talks, present books, give seminars.

If the event seems like an interesting one we say okay and tell them we do not pay our presenters. That is normally fine with them AT THAT TIME. A few of them, however, ask us, usually in the days before the Big day, if we can pay them (at least a little something). Sometimes they ask me, and then they ask my colleague to see if she will give a different answer!

They come, they do their presentation, and they may even be good and interesting people, but, I just don't see them the same way after that.

See, they have communicated that they are acting in their own interest rather than in the interest of our members. But it doesn't stop there, even years later when someone brings up the name of one of these people, my first thought is always "That guy wanted to be paid for the presentation he volunteered to give. Ick".

More recently we asked a famous (and rich, but that is besides the point) person to come and speak at our Association as a volunteer because we knew she was going to be in town in September (she is from here, so she comes back all the time!). All was hunky dorey until we were setting up the final dates. At that point, her assistant asked us if we were planning on paying her transportation costs, which we took to mean from her home in the States, as they did not ask for a bus ticket (which I would have even given her). We told her our policy, after that she cancelled!

And I thought, here is a chance to get some GREAT PUBLICITY for doing the right thing, and FLUSH!

I should have known as this same person's son came to Trieste to do a book launch and his people called ours to "involve" us in the event, which we were happy to do. The event was to sell his book (no problem) and have a wine tasting for the wine his family makes. We asked them how much it would cost so we could tell our members. "Free" they said. We told all of our members it was free.

Event night comes and we find out it is 7 euros for a glass of wine (if you live in Trieste you know this is highway robbery, and it's HIS wine, for cryin out loud!). Of course this made us look really stupid and it made us look at him and his people with the stink eye.

What did it cost them? Well, I think it actually made them some money that evening, but the local group that organized the event lost out on a few opportunities we had cooking for future events together that would given them a lot of good publicity and money. We never answered their calls after that. We felt tricked and feeling tricked smarts.

This summer my husband and I went on vacation in a lovely place in Puglia, a place I would have loved to go back to every year, bring my family to, tell my friends about, but I know I won't.

See, the owners of the place, while nice enough people, gave the impression that all they wanted was my money. They charged for everything! Even when it seemed like they were offering you a coffee, for example, they made us pay (on the spot). They were pushy with everything, "reminding" me that they also have this, that, and the other that we can buy . We had to pay for the entire week up front at the highest price possible since it was a popular vacation week, and they couldn't throw a coffee in? Beh!

I decided to write about this subject because of what happened this week, though. We were doing a presentation of new activities for the academic year when someone from television came in and started filming from all angles. I was speaking, so I couldn't figure out what station this guy was from. It wasn't a big one, so I figured it was a smaller cable channel. Great. He left without talking to anyone.

The next morning at 8am sharp I got an email asking me to send a check (only 200 euros) to support this Triestine-owned small television station (mystery solved). Was I supposed to pay them for the person they sent around the night before? I didn't ask the guy to come, I didn't know what station he worked for to watch what he filmed, and I had no indication from anyone else that it was even shown.

Actually, I received this same email a couple of years ago when we did an event they filmed (which we never saw because who knows where you find that channel anyway). Why didn't the guy just call me for an appointment or send me a personalized email rather than sending out a canned one he has been using for at least 2 years? Could that explain why I don't know anything about this channel except that they send people to film and then ask money the next day?

To those people who look at you with Euro signs in their eyes, I offer you this:

1. Yes, we all want more money, but if you have the choice between money now (instant gratification) and money AND a solid reputation as a caring, hard-working, team player people can trust (delayed gratification), raise your standards and think about what REALLY makes you happy. I can assure you it is not the extra money you pull in today.

2. Not every moment you work has to be a money-making opportunity. Think of the times you are working without pay as an investment in relationships that will bring you more over time in terms of credibility, trust, and personal satisfaction.

3. When you ask for money without considering the relationship with the person you are asking money from, you are thinking short-term and short-sighted. That, and you may be missing out on cultivating a mutually-beneficial business/personal relationship that can serve you both in the long-term.

You don't have to give everything away, but think about giving something BEFORE you ask. Show your potential customer who you are rather than assuming that your reputation proceeds you. It doesn't.

Your time to show your stuff is now. Trust the good judgement of your potential client, and the money will come and bring you much much more. I promise.

Free Wi-Fi in Front of Duomo in Milan a Little Weak

Duomo is Behind me.
I left Bologna on Sunday (Klementina went back to Cervignano and met me there the next day) and arrived in Milan with a little time to kill.

Wifi on Klementina's train wasn't working (beware: wifi on Freccia Bianca "exists" but is not "activated"-- which to me means it does NOT exist so if you need to work, take the Freccia Rossa) and she needed to send a video to a journalist fast.

No problem, I say, because I am in front of the Duomo and there is free wi-fi.

Wrong. Instead, it was another case of it "exists" but is apparently not "activated". So I wasted a good 45 minutes trying to use that, then moved on to trying to get my phone to be a personal hotspot (like it had done the day before with no backtalk at all). Then, in a desperate move I went to the McDonald's cafè (Mickey D's chic incarnation/ Starbucks imitation fail) where there was (I am not kidding) no WiFi and THOUSANDS of people. It was depressing.

Then I gave up and went to see the Scala Theater and it started pouring down rain and I continued to wander wander wander looking for an ethnic restaurant (I always eat foreign food when I am alone in Italy. I eat Italian food every day and sometimes just need a break!) at an address that did not exist or my gps was having issues.

Then I checked my horoscope. "Problems with Communication today. You could misunderstandings with friends, business partners and People you love." Well, there you go.

How is This for a Press Office!



Klementina looking right at home

This weekend Klementina and I were in Bologna for a medical conference we were doing international press office for. One of our better work venues, I must say.

The conference and gala dinner were held at the Palazzo Albergati. Privately owned, obviously, because it was in perfect condition. Most castles and palazzos I have seen belong to the city because they were donated when the heirs couldn't afford to keep the place up anymore giant palazzos fell out of fashion. They usually have that sort of regal air of once upon a time, but are also a little decrepit so you have to paint the walls and renovate the furniture in your head in order to appreciate them properly.

This place, on the other hand, gives you the feeling you get when you get accidentally bumped into First Class. It's a sensation of "I don't belong here/I ABSOLUTELY BELONG HERE/WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO HAVE THIS LIFESTYLE ALL TO MYSELF?"

Riff Raff
We did our work, lived it up while we could, enjoyed ourselves even. But experiences like this skew your view of reality. At dinner, a Scottish doctor at our table looked around the place (we were on a balcony with views of a cupola above and the ballroom below where the conference took place before and a multi-media show would take place after) with a dreamy look in his eye and said:

"You know, I wouldn't mind at all coming to live, or at least retiring in Italy."

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Milan Metro Rocks

1. Metros are just plain cool. Every city should have a subway system.
2. A single ticket lasts 90 minutes and only costs 1 euro 50
3. A day pass costs 4euro50. Great for tourism.
4. The people who work in the stations are super nice! My day pass got rain damaged yesterday and the operator let me through every time even though the time stamp was no longer legible and the ticket was practically pulp in my hand.

Hurray for Milan. Trieste Trasporti, consider this your benchmark.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Let us use the bathroom please!

Yesterday I was out having a walk with husband and toddler when I got the dreaded "Mommy I have to go POTTY!!"

This requires quick thinking as the moment of warning does not give us much time and "hold it" means little to a person who is out of diapers for a bit over a month.

Needs: bathroom, close, clean, toilet, not hole in the floor, NOW! I steer the stroller up the ramp of the hotel directly in front of us. There is a party going on in the bar that spills onto the piazza. I have been there a thousand times, know just where the ladies' room is. I walk into the reception area (make the mistake of) and ask to use the bathroom "Downstairs, right?"

Pause. Stare. (Hourglass running out of time).

"Lei e' cliente?"

Well, not today.

"The bathroom is for clients only"

Woman with authoritative stature and voice comes out to see what the problem is. Swoops in, brushes aside the entry level receptionist. The Big Guns have been called in.

"Oh. Lei vuole il bagno. E' cliente? I could understand if you were at the Party outside, then the situation would be completely different"

But it it is for the baby, I plead.

No bathroom for baby. They show me the door. I make some sort of weak attempt to highlight the inevitable consequences of bad Karma in refusing a woman and a child a safe, clean place to pee. I state that I am foreign (no real points for that in Italy, less in Trieste) with Lots of visitors (potential clients, who am I kidding, in ten years only One stayed there, But None in the future, mark my words!!).

I am safely out the door. In case the scene wasn't humiliating enough, one of them follows me out to close the door that until then was a sign of welcome (I work in communications so I am sensitive to these things, but it doesn't take much to interpret that gesture to mean WE ARE CLOSED TO THE RIFF RAFF!)

She still has to go potty, though. I race to the bar across the street where we are Obviously not clients.

"Prego, Signora" The two men show me the way to the bathroom. I dont even have to ask. It is big, it is clean, there is a toilet. Eva takes a piece of toilet paper, cleans the seat (did she learn that at school?), hops on. Does her business. We flush, wash hands, walk out, say Thank You and really mean it.

I know everything about bathrooms in my town. Which ones are clean, which ones are "broken", which ones have changing tables. I can tell a lot about a business just by having to use one.

Friday, September 13, 2013

An Open Letter to Trieste Trasporti

Since I am my own boss, I feel like it is time to give back by giving unsolicited advice for better marketing and communications to my favorite local businesses.

Here is my first go.

It's no secret here that I love the bus. I take it everywhere (when I'm not riding my bike, which I love just a little bit more) and truly BELIEVE in public transportation. I think, however, that once in a while the approach to Public Transportation here in Trieste could use some Tweaking.

I know you are having a difficult time, TT, we all are. But you've got to tough it out and weather the storm. IMHO, you could make a couple of small changes to encourage more ridership and make everyone's experience a little better.

1. GIVE US MORE! I know it goes against comon wisdom, but if you want more money to come in you've got to offer MORE, not less. The great price hike of 2013 coupled with that bus-route-cutting revolution a few months ago to save gas money or whatever it was, has meant more waiting and overcrowded, uncomfortable busses, not to mention more fights about whether that little window stays open for air, or remains shut to avoid the "giro d'aria" and the neck and back problems that it inevitably produces.

Think about your competition (bike, feet, scooter, car), if I had to choose between bus and, say, scooter, I would probably say scooter (and wear a scarf).

2. GET AN APP! I know you are technologically savvy. You have a website and pdfs with the various bus schedules. You sell the paper version at the newspaper kiosk. But really, when I need bus info, I am on the run and would like something I can read from my smartphone. Make the investment. If they can do it in almost every major city in the world, why can't Trieste? Tourism is our future, and those travelers expect it. For those of us who don't, you could feel satisfied in the knowledge that you made a few depressed bus riders a little happier.

If you are worried about how to pay for it, you will like my next point.

3. CHECK TICKETS or GET A SYSTEM THAT REQUIRES YOU TO PAY BEFORE YOU GET ON! The whole "trust system" just doesn't jive with the larger Italian context and feels like laziness more than trust anyway. There have been a few "Blitzes" in recent months, but generally, paying for the ticket is a culture issue that needs some cultivating from the top down. Here is a moment where lowering prices but making sure everyone pays could bring in more revenue.

4. GIVE US MORE ACCORDION BUS! Share it with other routes! Is the 10 route REALLY THAT worthy?  While I don't think it would be appropriate for the 44 or 46 routes that go up to the Carso on death-defyingly narrow roads, why can't the 20 or the 21 have a go, especially during rush hour in the morning and lunchtime when students go home (now is the time to convince them to become lifelong bus riders!)?

5.  CLEAN UP THE TRAM AND LET HER SIT IN PIAZZA OBERDAN. I'm not saying you have to USE her anymore, but at least put her there as a museum piece. She is so important to local lore, why hide her away? If the system is going to break down every 15 minutes, let the people on the hill take a normal bus and let the rest of us get a chance to see her every day on our way to work. Give her a shine, put some cameras on her so she doesn't get graffitied, and let her be something tourists can get their pictures taken in front of.

End of rant. Gotta catch the 34 and then the 44 to go pick up Sweet P.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

It is going to be a great day!

That's what I kept telling Eva this morning during our face to face strategy meeting at breakfast. She did not agree. In fact, she stated the OPPOSITE would be true. That it would be a TERRIBLE day because her Mommy would not be with her at Pre-School.

"What if you just get up and shake your head and make turkey noises when you feel sad?" I suggested, getting up to show her what that looks like.

She laughed. Then turned her head and tried to look angry. I did it again. She laughed, then made angry eyes again and pouty mouth. And then she made an angry sound.

Me. "Are you going to be a lion today or a lamb?"

Her. "Not a lion. What's a lamb?"

Me. "You know. Baaahh. Like the little baby sheep Gramma Mag gave you. Do you want to bring it with you so you can remember not to be a lion today?"

"NO."

She brought a cat (baby lion?) instead. And a stuffed Robin. Will she Roar or Whistle today?

Two hours to get work done before I can find out.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

My Portable Office

The best thing about my office is that I no longer have to pretend I am working regular business hours to keep from looking like a loser. It is now socially acceptable to call people after 10pm (especially if they are in a time zone six hours behind me), I can blog in the wee hours if I can't sleep and don't have to save it as a draft until the next day (oh that? I was in a different time zone when I published that one. I am so international!). There is more freedom, more international-ness more rockin-ness than the old days and it's all about Me Me Me in the center of it!

That being said, I was on the phone last night with my New York Partner (read, my Brother) and I was whispering. See, my Executive Assistant (read, my 2.5 year-old, Eva) was taking a power nap after a long day of complicated negotiations (why home is better than nursery school, why popsicles should replace vegetables, why climbing book shelves and doing somersaults off the side of the couch are the ideas of tomorrow) and I felt like I needed to give her the correct balance of leadership (lights OUT after 3 books and 2 stories) and autonomy (ok the door can stay open just a crack) to increase output (wake up at 7, get dressed in day clothes and have breakfast rather than being potato sacked out the door in pajamas).

But that's the thing about the modern office. My conference room sometimes looks like (feels like and often is) my bedroom, but it's still a helluva lot better than the old days.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Are you see-through? Notes on Transparency.

You want to be different than everyone else? Give people the information they want to know. It is that simple.

Besides my working life, I am a devoted volunteer director for a non-profit cultural association in Trieste called the Associazione Italo Americana del FVG. We are a cultural center, library, and English/Italian language school  that was started by the American/English soldiers when they were running the Allied Military Government here after WWII.

Most of our activities are free and open to the public, but we also offer high-quality language courses that help us pay our rent and continue to offer our members more. Well, I have been doing some benchmarking recently of websites for language schools that (in theory) are our local competitors. Here is what I discovered that was truly surprising.

First off, we do not have a site, we have a blog, which is free and dynamic. It forces us to keep our members and the public updated with what we have to offer each week. We talk about EVERYTHING WE DO. And people actually read it. We get hits on it from all over the world.

Well, compared to our competition, we say everything up front: when our courses meeting, and, especially, HOW MUCH THEY COST. We put this info on our blog. We give the same information when people call and when they stop in. We echo this info on Facebook.

We treat the public as intelligent people who can have all of the information we have available and use it how they would like. Usually this means making the best decision and coming to us.

We have found that making things completely clear and publishing our information in detail makes it easier for our nearly 50 volunteers keep track and give the correct information, and it holds us to a higher standard than the competition. Nobody likes feeling tricked or sucked in.

Being up-front with your public means that the people who come to you are there because they want to be. It makes everything more pleasant, and people will let you know about it. 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Bringing a blog and a crazy idea to life

I started this blog a while ago but didn't have the courage to make it live and breathe until this week when I decided that the path that I am on with my business partners Klementina and Ed (in Northern Italy and New York respectively) was worth documenting.

What helps is knowing that we do not have to be perfect to share thoughts and ideas about work. Our experiences, good and bad, can serve as a lesson for others as well as ourselves.

Here is how I first revealed the news on my previous blog turnthatshipintolemenade.blogspot.com 

Klementina and I were already working separately and sometimes together a year ago when we had the idea to create a company together. I wrote up a business plan that had us helping small and medium Italian companies communicate better outside of Italy. It's what we had been doing for some time already, and we were good at it. As I wrote it I decided that the best way to help companies go international would be to go international ourselves. But it was still far away and scarey, sometimes exciting, but then we just left the idea there. The plan became one of those "some day" stories that never seems to go anywhere. We had work, though, so we didn't worry too much about it.

It was always there in the back of my mind gnawing away at me though. I wanted to be able to do the same thing for companies in other countries that we were doing for Italian companies. I wanted to have a closer relationship with my home country. That, and I think we both felt we could do more.

This is the story of how we decided that some day could also be now. At that point, our third partner, Ed, came into the picture as the most obvious complement to what we could offer our clients. We became a team on two continents because all three of us had the courage at the same time. That is when things started to get interesting. But we will talk about that later.


This week the three of us are on different projects that mean something special to us individually. Ed is in Afghanistan with a group of cartoonists, sponsored by the USO, drawing caricatures of American soldiers, Klementina is helping a new all-female company get through a charity fashion show, volunteering her time and lending her expertise to help a company she believes in, and I am planning the re-launch at the end of the month of a 53 year old non-profit private library that I volunteer for in Trieste.

All three of us are doing what we love and giving our time and energy to projects we believe in. This is what real fulfillment at work feels like. Because what we give adds to our experience and bag of tricks that we use with our paid work, we don't even have to feel guilty about it!

So here is our new blog, let's fill it with ideas that other people can use to do their job better and give back when the time is right.