A Feminist's Argument for NOT Working IN NERO

There are two species who will never understand each other in this life, and probably not in the next one either, or the one after that.

The Hourly Salaried Employee, (THE DIPENDENTE) and the Independent Worker (LIBERO PROFESSIONISTA). That is unless the hourly salaried employee is a Woman and the freelancer is a Man. In that case, you can throw everything I am about to say out the window because no matter what a man does it is considered Work.

Anyway, in Italy, it is almost NEVER the case that the woman is gainfully employed while the man works freelance, which is why I am writing this today.

I think about it almost daily, though, how thick your skin has to be to be a woman and do what I do in Italy. First, Italy has a particular working environment that I would not recommend to a foreigner. It breaks your heart too often to count.

For more on this, let me just give you some background information on the working situation and what contracts look like for women here.

I know there are so many things we can talk about on the subject, but I want to concentrate on just one.

My central message here today, Women (although I hope the Men are reading, I truly do), is no matter how strong the temptation, please do not work under the table. In Italian we call this working "in the black." We live in one of the most corrupt countries in the world and it is evident at all levels. Sometimes it is hard to reconcile paying so much of our hard-earned money to fund bad management. But we must.

Here are some reasons.

1. It is the Ethical thing to do. In Italy money changing hands is taxed. If you do not declare and pay taxes on the money you receive you are evading taxes.

Most of us are teachers and consultants. Teachers, in particular, must maintain a high moral standard. It is a position of trust. What are we communicating to our clients if we do not pay our taxes? "Please trust me, and pay me in cash so I can cheat the government and other taxpayers."

As a consultant one of my core values is transparency. If I do not pay my taxes, I am hiding something, and that is incongruent with this value. And for me that is not okay.

2. You never get credit for cash. Let me explain. Cash for services rendered is INVISIBLE in every way. Once you receive it, the money magically transforms into PIZZA, BEER, or BUS TICKETS.

And here is when it hurts. At the end of the fiscal year when you do your taxes. Remember you are always going to be compared to an Hourly Salaried Employee, so when it is time to do your taxes and figure out "How You Did" last year (in our case this means confronting, or, better, JUSTIFYING how much less we made before and after taxes than our salaried partner and why we do not just throw in the towel and "get a real job", not that we could), that cash that was so appealing in the first place is not counted.

I think only the Mafia keeps track of cash at the end of the year.

In your case that disappearing money leaves you looking like a professional loser to the Dipendente (who, paradoxically, may have ENCOURAGED you to work in the black-- it is no secret that most Italian Employees loath/envy those who work in nero and say they would do it if they could. Also, Working in Nero is always a family decision when it is the woman doing it). In the end, your tax record is the only one that really counts. There is no DIGNITY in working in nero. How can you see your progress as a professional and track it if you can't see the money you made (Remember, Cash is Hush Hush and invisible)?

3. Your clients will not respect you. Everyone likes to save money, so working in the black will always exist, but the person who does it is considered unprofessional. Even doctors do it here, but it leaves you with a bitter and suspicious feeling towards them. It is dishonest behavior, after all, which makes you question their professional judgement-- will it be based on personal interest or my well-being? Teachers who work in the black are expected to go to clients' houses, they get last-minute cancellations, and, prestige-wise, are at about the same level as any other kind of domestic worker (which almost do not exist in Italy because it has gotten so difficult to exploit them).

4. This is an inherently sexist country. Well, the whole world is, actually, but the underlying assumptions in Italy are that every hour that is not paid is, well, vacation. This applies only to women, however. A lot of the men who are my age here had mothers who did not work. As a consequence of this and the fact that their fathers probably did not respect the sacrifice the mom was making by staying home, the sons took some crazy ideas with them to our houses where they stay and fester and drive us nutso.

In practical terms, this means that Billed Hours have Value and Preparation Time and Follow-Up do not. Of course, if you do not prepare and follow up, you will not continue to get work. But expect the second you finish that class the expectation is that you get on the bus to come home and walk the dog, or go to the bank or run some other errand that the very busy Dipendente cannot because he is forever working in the office (much harder than you, and bringing home more than you, so please be at his beck and call).

Here is a concrete example. For every hour of teaching, there is another hour of preparation if you want to do a good job. Professional teaching gigs pay more per hour because they take that extra time into consideration (teaching in the black does not). There is usually follow-up bureacracy to do as well. But the Employee does not know this and will always assume that the hour you teach is important but the preparation is not because you are not getting paid expressly for that time. Another reason that Every hour you bill counts even more.

By the way, Business Trips you take as an independent will never be compensated in the same way as the "Trasferta" the dipendente gets (which is why he almost never travels, by the way. It costs the business a fortune and is reserved for the big bosses and outside consultants for exactly this reason).

This means your expenses will be paid, but you will not get anything extra. Try telling that to the Dipendente. He will not understand. Result: the Business Trip is also a Vacation. So schedule in an afternoon flight the day you plan to come home, because it doesn't matter how little you sleep while you are gone, it will be business as usual the second you come home. In many cases, expect to double up on the work at home to "pay back" for the extra dog walks, kid time, and cleaning that you missed.

Conclusion:
Working independently takes self-discipline, grit, and skin like teflon. The outside accolades are few and far between and even those closest to us may not recognize that what what we are doing is really work.

Our job satisfaction must be intrinsic-- as in We have to produce it Ourselves. This is why I spend a great amount of time (and it always gets me in trouble) volunteering. I believe, like Napoleon Hill, that pay must be in many forms besides money, otherwise you will always be underpaid.

But I am a woman working in Italy and being judged by a male employee default, so I feel a pronounced need to to produce accurate data with measurable results. And the only thing that can truly be measured in terms of any kind of "value," unfortunately, is money.

Do not deprive yourself of the one factor that everyone understands-- your yearly salary. You work hard for every penny you make. Declare it with a roar, even if it means you have to give some away. That is the nature of the beast. Own it. If you are consistent you can take comfort in the fact that if your taxes are going up every year, it is because you are increasing your business. And that is always good news.

Wrapping Up the Year

This morning I taught three adult English classes for my friend Erin who went home to the States for Christmas. It was the first lesson for all three groups so I could do what I wanted without having to feel guilty about getting them off track, and, since they hadn't met Erin yet, their expectations were still low. Phyoo!

Here was my lesson plan. Yes, Try it at home! Especially number 3. 

1. INTRODUCTIONS. Who are you? Are you on my list? What is your perception about YOUR English? Where are you and where do you want to go?
2. FLUENCY SOUP RECIPE. Which is basically what this is talking about.
3. MAIN LESSON: WRAPPING UP 2014. 

Step 1. Take a piece of paper.

You have 5 minutes. Make a list of all of your victories and/or achievements for 2014. Yes, all of them: Personal, Professional. Big, Small. For all year. GO!

Step 2. Conversation. (in pairs and then the group)

How was that experience? Were your victories mostly personal or work-related? You probably remembered the big ones first and the most recent ones and then as you wrote you may have remembered some from earlier in the year. Any victories you want to share with us?

The takeaway here is that it reminds you that 2014 was a year of 12 months and not just the most recent one.

Step 3. Go back to that piece of paper.

You have 5 minutes. Make a list of everything you learned in 2014. These can be concrete lessons (I learned how to CODE) or life lessons (I learned that it is possible to live without wearing a watch). GO!

Step 4. Discuss the results. Focus on the experience, then share the ones you found most profound. Or silly. Or strange. Or surprising.

Step 5. Go back to that piece of paper.

Imagine it is December 31, 2015. You had the BEST YEAR EVER. What happened during the course of the year? Give me 5 or 6 big things. They can be material/monetary, personal achievements, professional recognition, you decide.

Step 6. Stop. Now. Write down three or four values you want to focus on for 2015. Here are some ideas: Health, Family, Prosperity, Transparency, Friendship, Leadership, Trust. Put them in order of importance.

Step 7, What values did you focus on? How can you reconcile your list of desires for 2015 with those values? Example: I want to earn A GAZILLION EUROS so that I can have more and higher-quality time with MY FAMILY. See What I am getting at here? Give those desires some real significance so you can make them come true.

4. CONCLUSION: Parting thoughts? Teacher listens.

5. GOOD BYE AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

FOLLOW-UP TO MAIN LESSON. PREPARING FOR 2015. 
1. WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS FOR 2015. ALL OF THEM. THE YEAR IS LONG.
2. WRITE OUT THE MONTHS FROM JANUARY TO DECEMBER. LEAVE THREE OR FOUR LINES BETWEEN THEM. 
3. COPY YOUR GOALS IN THE MONTH YOU PLAN ON STARTING AND FINISHING THEM. 
4. CHECK YOUR PROGRESS EACH QUARTER. 

IN THE MEANTIME...For more of this kind of stuff, here is the place. 

2015 is going to be OUR YEAR, People!!  

Communicating with the Menu- Part 4 The Foreigner Friendly Menu- Maurizio and Sandro Serva

I am going to use Maurizio and Sandro Serva as my example for this post. These guys have what we call PERSONALITY. Very important, as we said earlier, to communicate this somehow, even when your chefs aren't there to do it themselves.

I choose the Servas today because they have a playfulness that comes out in their food and their menu that I appreciate.

Surprises transcend language, and they are very good at giving you the unexpected. They also pay attention to every detail and what it tells you. Just look at pictures of their food to get an idea. Take a look at photos of the restaurant. Perfection.

I want to concentrate on the Foreigner Friendly menu here. In this case, their menu was mainly in English because we were outside of Italy. However, there are tricks to making sure the menu communicates effectively, even in a foreign language.

When you are presenting your menu outside of your country, there are some important choices to make about translation.

1. I can't stress this enough, but please do not translate the menu into a language that is not yours. You are really taking a risk with how you will be perceived by your guest.

2. When choosing a translator, make sure you choose a good writer. This is different than a good translator. Some of the worst menus I have ever seen in English have been translated accurately by rotten writers.

3. Give your dishes the dignity they deserve. Keep them in the original language. Below that you may describe them. Try to add something more than just what the title gives you. Complement the original text rather than duplicate it in the foreign language.

4. Assume your guest is sophisticated. Here is an example taken directly from the Serva menu from the Summit.

L'uovo di carciofo 

the egg artichoke

A brilliant and modern interpretation of the classic Italian Artichoke omelet.

 

 

This is well done. I would not have translated the name of the dish (even if I did. I probably did not want to take any liberties since I did not know Maurizio and Sandro yet). Notice how the description gives all of the information the title translated does, plus something more.

 

This was the winning dish of the Summit, for me, by the way. Outstanding.

 

Communicating with the Menu Part 3-- The Menu that Sings

Pino Cuttaia**, La Madia

One of the differences between a high-level dining experience and eating out at so-so place is the emphasis on Who's Cooking. The higher the level, the more visibility the Chef has.

So the menu in some way must communicate the Chef. During the Summit, the real master of this art was Pino Cuttaia. As I mentioned in my last post, I did not have the chance to eat at the Capital Club when he was the guest chef during the Summit, but I did have a chance to translate his menu.

And it sang to me.

Here is how. Each dish had a story-- just a couple of lines to explain the origins and importance of the dish. He talked about his native territory, his grandma.

His words were lovely and he was so human that you felt like having a meal with him is literally that: having a meal with HIM. At his House. At his Table.

That is what a well written menu can do. Oh, I should mention that this explanation wasn't actually meant for the menu. It was for the RECIPE. Yes, a chef communicating to the people who would be making the food with him.

That is where excellent communication skills come in. Cuttaia communicates the Culture behind the dishes to everyone who comes into contact with them.

Communicating with the Menu Part 2: Meet Me at Armani

 

I was lucky to have some really amazing meals during my time working on the Italian Cuisine World Summit this year. While there are some stars of Italian Cuisine I have not yet had the honor to try (Pino Cuttaia and Enrico Bartolini come to mind and are certainly short-listed on my bucket list), I did get to form some ideas about what differentiates fine dining from just merely OKAY dining. I will get to the menu, too. I promise. Just stick with me here.

 

CREATING THE EXPERIENCE.

I had dinner at Armani Restaurant in Dubai. The experience starts from the moment you enter. No. EVEN BEFORE.

 

Did I mention it is located on the first floor of THE WORLD'S TALLEST BUILDING? No need to be in the penthouse suite to be impressed. Burj Khalifa rocks. Plus you are going there for a reason other than taking an elevator to the top, and that is pretty chic if you ask me.

 

Every detail of the decoration is beautiful. I wanted to take a bite out of the chairs. I am not kidding. Everything looked like a finely wrapped chocolate. Dining there makes you feel like you won something. That Finally you are privy to what you Always Knew Existed but never got to partake in-- the life you Know you DESERVE.

 

Of course, it will have to end at some point. (Pro: you can change shoes, Con: I HATE MY MISERABLE LIFE!)

But, guess what. Armani knows that, too. And he feels for you.

So here is what he does to console you.

He and his inner circle of people who understand you make this an experience you will never forget.

1. He has you eating on golden plates with golden flatware.
2. He gives you the menu without the prices on it (if you are LUCKY enough to be a girl).
3. His servers give you elaborately detailed explanations for everything on the menu. The concept, the history, the procedure. It is always something you could never do at home.
4. Seeing into the kitchen is a GOOD thing here. It is located in the center of the restaurant and surrounded by glass walls.
5. Even with your back to the kitchen you can sneak a peak at 3-starred Niko Romito conferring with the others and overseeing important kitchen events. (PRO: What is not to like about watching Other People make YOU gorgeous food? CON: It is not a one-way mirror. Romito can see you, too, and may just call you out for being the Vegetarian who did not eat all of His creations).
6. More than one dessert at the end. And ice cream at the BEGINNING (pea flavored, really. Delicious).
7. The chef comes out to say hello. Hello, Niko. You want to kiss his hands, bow down to his people in gratitude. But no one else is doing that so you just act graciously.  There is always someone at the table who wants to give advice. Every time. That person is not me. Chef accepts comment with an understanding let's agree to disagree  nod.
8. Armani gives you presents when you leave. Like a wedding or a baptism. Boys get something in a bottle which is carefully wrapped in Armani wrapping paper (Thank God your grandma isn't here. She would save the paper and recycle it for Christmas). Girls get a single long-stemmed rose. The paper it is wrapped in says Armani/Flowers.
9. THEY GIVE YOU A MINIATURE VERSION OF THE MENU TO TAKE HOME. It is printed on mother-of-pearl cardstock. It is a treasure.

Now, THAT is how you communicate with a menu.

Why Americans Drink Capuccino After Dinner

Dear Italians, I want to share a little story with you. I hope this will help you understand where we are coming from a little better.

 

Once upon a time, before Starbucks came to every block in the United States...

 

there was a small town along the shores of Lake Michigan in Wisconsin called Racine. In the olden days, if it was your grandma's birthday you went to the fanciest place in town, the Corner House, for Prime Rib. Now, you Knew this was a Fancy Supper Club because even grandma got a "Cocktail" before dinner there. And by "Cocktail" I mean anything with Brandy in it, because that is the main ingredient in cocktails in Wisconsin. Gramma Jeane, never banal, had a "Dry Burbon Manhattan on-the-rocks-with-a-twist," however. This can be used as a tongue twister by those too young to actually drink them. In fact, from a young age, we practiced rattling it off fast, many times in a row while drinking our "Kiddie Cocktails" as we pulled the marascino cherries off the plastic sword resting on the rim of our glass with our teeth. Good times, people, when servers were called "waitresses" and "waiters".  Earth tones reigned and the lighting can best be described as "amber".

 

The other context clue that indicated you were in someplace special was the timing of the Coffee. At the Corner House, you ordered it AFTER you finished your Soup, Prime Rib, potato any way you like (except for fried, which is not sophisticated) which meant baked with sour cream, and salad with cottage cheese or, alternatively, spinach salad with hot bacon dressing.

 

Yes, coffee came after supper and the server would come back 4 or 5 times for a "warmer" while you sat around talking because no one was chasing you out to serve the next group of eaters (another fancy restaurant "thing").

 

THEN SOMETHING MAGIC HAPPENED!

 

I think it was around 1988.

 

THE CAPPUCCINO MACHINE ARRIVED.

 

This revolutionized Fancy Dinners FOREVER!

 

This large and noisy machine did make EXPRESSO (which is what we still call it), of course, but who would drink that crap? Too small for $1.75, no free refills and by the time you put enough sugar in it to make it drinkable it was a sludgy mess. And there seemed to be some sort of unwritten rule that said you were not allowed to put milk in it, so it was to be avoided.

 

CAPPUCCINO (when you said this word the heavens used to open up and the angels would start singing from on high) was another story.

 

It was still $1.75 and there were no refills, either. But it was DELICIOUS! Who KNEW that froth could taste so good? Is that a hint of COCOA in there?? Paying once for it just made it all the more CHIC and fancy. Again, a once a year affair.

 

Flash forward. We can get cappuccinos anytime we want now... but when we come to Italy, something special happens. We bounce back to high school and OUR FIRST CUP OF CAPPUCCINO. It is magic. We want to drink them all day because we can. And we do.

 

And who can blame us. Full with dinner or not, the Cappuccino tastes really good. It is like dessert for us. Yum.

 

I have lived here for many years now, but I do not judge my fellow Americans when they order a cappuccino after dinner. I even recognize the micro-expression the waiter elicits at the order. It is a mix between an eye roll and a wink of physical pain. But then he or she remembers that you are Americano or Tedesco, and they find it in their heart to forgive you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Communicating with a Menu Part 1

This article on NPR got me thinking about MENUS today. Specifically, it talks about the Language you use on the menu and what it says about the type of restaurant you are probably in.

I have a pretty good idea of what lower-level restaurant language looks like as these are the kinds of places I most often go to when I am in the States. They are the restaurants where BREAKFAST is served all day and you can get a patty melt or a French dip-- the so-called family restaurant, or, if I am lucky, the DINER. You know what this kind of menu looks like: LOTS of oversized laminated pages,  innacurate pictures of the food and a fizzing red cup of Coca-Cola or a steaming mug of hot coffee. Words like "savory," "mouth-watering", "served on a bed of iceberg lettuce,"  "build your own," and "griddle" are also solid indicators that you are in this type of place.

But you know all of this already. At least I hope you do, because if you do not have this culture, how can you TRULY appreciate the HIGHER-level restaurant that we will be talking about in my next post?

Yes, Reader. I want to talk about what makes a menu special in a really nice restaurant, say, the place you go once a year on GRANDMA's birthday and the meal is on HER. The kind of place where you start with a cocktail and END with a cup of coffee rather than drink it all during the meal.

I am going to use some of the menus I collected during the Summit to talk about what makes a menu part of the experience of eating out, and, at the same time, talk about what really makes a foreigner-friendly menu. We will use our Italian Michelin-starred chefs for inspiration.