Did you Know Kurt Could Knit?

Last week I had this breakthrough idea that I would teach an intensive English course to a mixed group of teens (it was already on the calendar, so this was not the breakthrough idea) in such a way as to make them forget they were studying English and, at the same time, pick up a skill I had always wanted to learn (it all comes back to me, doesn't it?).

I thought that one new skill per week of class would be a great way to round myself out in a way that does not involve eating (it is Summer, after all!). I found this Ted talk which gave me just the fodder I needed to try out my new tricks. 

WEEK ONE: JUGGLING 3 BALLS 

I thought juggling would be appropriate for week one. There was a girl in the class who could do one round with 3 balls and the rest of us were newbies. We started on Tuesday (the idea had just come to me Monday afternoon…) and the objective was to show off our moves by Friday. It wasn’t easy to put in 20 hours in three days, so most of us did not. It was an interesting exercise anyway. I continue to practice.

Our very special training video was this one.

On Friday all of us had made significant progress and we even created a whatsapp group (The Juggling Geniuses) so we could post our videos and progress over the summer. I was able to do one round with three balls, but I have to say toss two is still pathetic. I am going to have to continue my efforts. 

WEEK TWO: KNITTING A CHICKEN

Week two I decided to teach a skill I already knew how to do and felt grateful for: knitting.

When teaching new skills to teens the most important phase is the first: CONVINCING them it is a good idea. Juggling was easy. Who doesn't want to learn how to juggle? Knitting was a harder sell, but I did it. 

First I had to find famous people who knit. It is important to include men who knit too. I knew Russell Crowe was a knitter, but had no idea that Kurt Cobain was, too. Actually, this picture shows him crocheting, but no one seemed to notice. 

A decade ago, that picture up top would have been enough to convince any teen to knit. 

Here is my point, though. Today is day two, we had class for 3 hours. We were floating around between the classroom (where we started with knitting) and the kitchen (where we made homemade peanut butter) and the big room with the smart board. Well, at some point we were in the big room and I decided to give them a break. I said they could have seven minutes (random choice) to go to the bathroom, get some water, take a little walk, whatever. And that is just what I did, too. 

Well, when I got back to the classroom, there they all were... KNITTING. For FUN. Just BECAUSE. 

I was a little surprised, I have to say. The only kids who were not knitting were the ones who came today for the first time and learned briefly this morning. They had not gotten over the learning hump at that point and therefore had not found THE JOY of knitting yet. 

But they will, I hope. Hopefully they will find it by tomorrow. For the others, I send them this, the best present I could find on the internet: a knitted (well, probably crocheted) Kurt Cobain. I salute YOU. and THANK him. 

Plus, how awesome is this website where I found the two kurts: http://croshame.com/?

Chicks love guys with skills.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I just signed up for the Venice Marathon on October 25. I have wanted to run this thing for years and years and FINALLY I am going to do it.

THIS IS MY YEAR. I ran Paris in 2009 with my dear friend, Laura. I cannot imagine running this one alone, but I will if I have to. Hopefully my dear friend Brian will run it with me this time.

Both Laura and Brian have the same Birthday, June 14. Isn't that chancey?

If anyone is up for running and blogging it with us, let me know!

I'm off for a quick run before the rain starts. Happy Friday!

Thinking in a Foreign Language is a lot like Meditating

That is what I have on my mind this week and I blogged about it on my consulting website here. 

See what you think and try it!

FAQ 4 CAN I SPEAK A FOREIGN LANGUAGE WITH MY KIDS EVEN IF I AM NOT A NATIVE SPEAKER?

Of course you can. The trick is to make it a positive experience for your child. To do that you must concentrate on sharing your Love and Enthusiasm for the language. The opposite would be “tricking” your child into thinking you are a native speaker (I have seen this happen. Not pretty) and creating a pseudo target language environment because you think it’s going to give the kid a better chance at a job later. That would be manipulative and you will be found out.

The people who seem to have the most success sharing their foreign language with their children are the ones who learn together and/or dedicate specific times to working on or speaking the language together. This may mean watching films together in the language, listening to children’s radio programs in the target language (Kids Public Radio in English, for example) and having certain times of the day where they speak the language together-- the walk home from school, for example, or while you are getting the table set for dinner, you decide.

The only time I saw things go terribly wrong was when the non-native parent was sneaky about it.  She was a foreign language teacher, so the language was important to her and she wanted to save her daughter the pain of having to learn it like she did. Her heart was in the right place. So she created the immersion atmosphere at home.  Fine. She had all of the Disney films in the target language (they were videocassettes back then). Fine. She spoke to her child only in that language. Fine, but at some point she should have EXPLAINED to her what she was doing. She did not. The daughter eventually figured out her mother was not a native and it was all a hoax. Man, was she pissed! 

Be prepared for rebellion. 

Be open about it too. Explain why you going against the grain. If you put your kid in a school taught in a different language like I did (I speak English to my daughter, husband speaks Italian, she goes to school in Slovene), the questions will come immediately. Mine looked like this:

Why did you put me in this different school when everyone else is speaking my language?

Why are You talking to me in this funny language when I Know that with daddy you speak a different way?

You have to answer. 

Explain the advantage you are giving them. If you are passionate about languages and you want your child to be passionate about them, give every bit of reason to love the language(s) as much as you do by traveling, and enjoying the culture, getting to know other people in that language. Show that languages are about people and making friends. 

I did my best to answer my daughter. I said, “It’s good for your brain development, honey!” and “Your grandparents used to speak Slovene, dear, and Mommy is just stealing back the language that was stolen from you!”

Blank stare. Not convinced. I told her that she should stick it out and see how it goes. She did.

Then Carnevale came along and, as we always do, we went up to the Slovene part of town to celebrate. My husband and I and my daughter dressed up like the three little pigs. We walked from house to house getting treats, singing and dancing in the streets (we also drank wine). At lunch time there were two accordions and a guitar. They played all of the Triestino classics, in Slovene. Eva knew all of the songs. They were the ones that she had learned in Pre-School. Joy.

She sang her heart out that day. In Slovene.

Later that week she did one of those things you thought only adults do: she took me aside, like she was going to tell me a little secret.

“Mommy. NOW I understand why you put me in that school. It was for Carneval! So I could sing all the songs. Now I know why.”

"Yes, that is exactly right," I agreed with her.

FAQ 3 I AM TRYING TO SPEAK ITALIAN BUT MY HIGH SCHOOL FRENCH KEEPS COMING OUT. WHY?

Another variation: I am trying to speak English but German keeps coming out. In other words:

I am trying to learn a foreign language but words from the other languages I have studied come to mind instead of the ones I want. Why is that?

Sometimes when we try to learn another language we have the perception that other languages we have studied “get in the way”. When my brother came to visit me for the first time in Italy, he complained that French words he learned in High School were coming out, and there is a good reason for that.

 It is like your brain is saying: “Hmm we have to get used to a new situation here, and my native language just isn’t going to cut it” and  it goes looking for anything that is NOT your native language. It might be the French you learned in High School, for example. If this happens to you, it is a good sign.

 

It means that your brain knows to suppress your native language and, by the way, it is THIS skill that differentiates bilingual speakers from monolinguals and is responsible for all the benefits of foreign language that we read about: faster thinking, pushing off Alzheimers, etc.

 

In my brother’s case, he was lucky because that French probably helped him somewhat with his Italian because they are both Romance languages. As a general rule, if you THINK you understand a word because it reminds you of a word you learned when you were studying a different language, 99% of the time you are  going to be right.

 

So don’t worry about your other language. It may seem like an obstacle, but it is not. It can and will help you, and if you are able to suppress your native language already, you are in great shape to becoming a fluent speaker in your language of choice. Embrace it!

FAQ 2 DOES IT MATTER IF MY TEACHER IS NOT A NATIVE SPEAKER?

To this I say absolutely not, especially if your teacher is fluent and has the cultural knowledge of the language because he or she studied abroad, or at least spent some time there. Most language teachers have, because it is the easiest way to get fluent, and if you are not fluent, why would you want to teach it? 

Listen. I hate to tell you this, but you are NOT going to get your teacher’s accent. It just doesn’t work that way. We pick up our accent from those around us and then we mix that with our own habits of pronunciation that we bring with us from other languages. This is also true for children. If you want them to have a perfect accent in a language, put them in situations with native speakers their age.

Non-native speakers have the added benefit of having learned the language themselves, so they may have some tricks that a native does not. They may also hold you to a higher standard and not let you get away with making the typical mistakes that non-natives make. A good teacher will know you better than you know yourself and push you in a way that you might not expect but which allows you to achieve a high level in the language. That is also a bonus.

The fun part of learning a language is the culture. So you want to have a teacher who can share that with you. And please let the teacher be fun and exciting-- a teacher who is going to make you Love the language. Just because a teacher is a native does not mean that he or she will be a good teacher.

I would MUCH rather have a non-native speaker who is excellent than a native speaker who is a bore. How about you?

FAQ 1 I TOOK A LANGUAGE IN HIGH SCHOOL. HOW COME I CAN’T REMEMBER ANYTHING I LEARNED? IS IT MY TEACHER’S FAULT?

People who took language in high school often feel this way. It’s the teacher’s fault they didn’t learn, or it's the teacher's fault for not being a native speaker. I am here to tell you that it is not the teacher’s fault. It is not Your fault, either. You just didn’t have enough contact with the language. 

There are lots of different ideas about how long it takes to really learn a language but the one I tend to go with is this: if you are lucky enough to be in the foreign country when you are doing it, it will take you about a month to have the first big click with the language, this means you have a concrete feeling or flash or moment of clarity when you realize that you understand a lot and can speak. You are not going ot be perfect of course, but that is the first conscious jump. 

To get that click without living in a foreign country you will need about 500 hours of contact with the language, which does not necessarily mean being with a teacher (if it did, I would be rich).This can mean any kind of contact with the languae like listening to the radio or writing, reading, watching films. Any of those things contribute to the contact hours you need to have with the language. 

If you think about a typical class at a language school, you might meet once a week for two hours for the entire academic year, so maybe forty weeks. That seems like a lot, but  it will never get you to the next level in language. If you want to do that, you must give yourself a lot more than what you can get from the class alone. 

To do that, look for as many ways as you can to use the language in everyday life. This way you are not adding hours to the day, but you ARE adding contact with the language. Some easy examples are : putting your phone in the target language (every time you look at your phone you are getting contact with the language, yes 5 seconds at a time is still better than zero seconds!), and watching at least a movie a week in the target language. You can intensify the experience by putting the subtitles in the target language as well. Download an app to your phone like memrise or duolingo. That way you can practice when you have dead time, like on the bus or in line at the grocery store. 

In conclusion, if you took language in high school and then did nothing more with it but have the burning desire to get fluent some day, that time is not lost! You will see that once you put yourself back in contact with the language, a lot of things will come back to you, and quickly. 

Even if you are rusty at first, remember that the initial contact was made, so the the info is still there and waiting to wake up. Think muscle memory when you run long distance. Even if you take an extended amount of time off, you Never go back to zero. 

You Ask me, I answer You!

People ask me lots of questions about learning foreign language and helping their kids do it, too. I am going to answer them for you in a series of ten posts. Ready? Here we go.

What is an Expert?

What most people think experts are.

1. Chosen by a supreme authority.
2. Has read a secret catalogue that the rest of us have no access to.
3. Is more "authentic" than the rest of us.
4. Has a piece of paper stating that they are an expert.
5. Is generally and unquestionably considered one.
6. Is different than the rest of us.
7. Something we can never be because we are stupid, ignorant, not worthy, an impostor.

Here is my definition:

An Expert:
1. Thinks about something a lot more than than the rest of us do.
2.  Is confident about sharing her unique experience and perspective on a certain subject.
3.  Has made a conscious decision to be the best of the best at what she does.
4.  Is naturally curious and uses her resources to gather knowledge and share it.
5.  Is good at marketing.

There is no magic here. And it's not like we all have some kind of talent at something and we just need to find it.

No way. Haven't you noticed that SOME PEOPLE are just GOOD AT EVERYTHING?
It is a decision and a commitment. It is no accident. Those people have figured out how it works and apply it to everything.

We can too. Let's get off of our keisters, people, and get back to work.

A Feminist's Argument for NOT Working IN NERO

There are two species who will never understand each other in this life, and probably not in the next one either, or the one after that.

The Hourly Salaried Employee, (THE DIPENDENTE) and the Independent Worker (LIBERO PROFESSIONISTA). That is unless the hourly salaried employee is a Woman and the freelancer is a Man. In that case, you can throw everything I am about to say out the window because no matter what a man does it is considered Work.

Anyway, in Italy, it is almost NEVER the case that the woman is gainfully employed while the man works freelance, which is why I am writing this today.

I think about it almost daily, though, how thick your skin has to be to be a woman and do what I do in Italy. First, Italy has a particular working environment that I would not recommend to a foreigner. It breaks your heart too often to count.

For more on this, let me just give you some background information on the working situation and what contracts look like for women here.

I know there are so many things we can talk about on the subject, but I want to concentrate on just one.

My central message here today, Women (although I hope the Men are reading, I truly do), is no matter how strong the temptation, please do not work under the table. In Italian we call this working "in the black." We live in one of the most corrupt countries in the world and it is evident at all levels. Sometimes it is hard to reconcile paying so much of our hard-earned money to fund bad management. But we must.

Here are some reasons.

1. It is the Ethical thing to do. In Italy money changing hands is taxed. If you do not declare and pay taxes on the money you receive you are evading taxes.

Most of us are teachers and consultants. Teachers, in particular, must maintain a high moral standard. It is a position of trust. What are we communicating to our clients if we do not pay our taxes? "Please trust me, and pay me in cash so I can cheat the government and other taxpayers."

As a consultant one of my core values is transparency. If I do not pay my taxes, I am hiding something, and that is incongruent with this value. And for me that is not okay.

2. You never get credit for cash. Let me explain. Cash for services rendered is INVISIBLE in every way. Once you receive it, the money magically transforms into PIZZA, BEER, or BUS TICKETS.

And here is when it hurts. At the end of the fiscal year when you do your taxes. Remember you are always going to be compared to an Hourly Salaried Employee, so when it is time to do your taxes and figure out "How You Did" last year (in our case this means confronting, or, better, JUSTIFYING how much less we made before and after taxes than our salaried partner and why we do not just throw in the towel and "get a real job", not that we could), that cash that was so appealing in the first place is not counted.

I think only the Mafia keeps track of cash at the end of the year.

In your case that disappearing money leaves you looking like a professional loser to the Dipendente (who, paradoxically, may have ENCOURAGED you to work in the black-- it is no secret that most Italian Employees loath/envy those who work in nero and say they would do it if they could. Also, Working in Nero is always a family decision when it is the woman doing it). In the end, your tax record is the only one that really counts. There is no DIGNITY in working in nero. How can you see your progress as a professional and track it if you can't see the money you made (Remember, Cash is Hush Hush and invisible)?

3. Your clients will not respect you. Everyone likes to save money, so working in the black will always exist, but the person who does it is considered unprofessional. Even doctors do it here, but it leaves you with a bitter and suspicious feeling towards them. It is dishonest behavior, after all, which makes you question their professional judgement-- will it be based on personal interest or my well-being? Teachers who work in the black are expected to go to clients' houses, they get last-minute cancellations, and, prestige-wise, are at about the same level as any other kind of domestic worker (which almost do not exist in Italy because it has gotten so difficult to exploit them).

4. This is an inherently sexist country. Well, the whole world is, actually, but the underlying assumptions in Italy are that every hour that is not paid is, well, vacation. This applies only to women, however. A lot of the men who are my age here had mothers who did not work. As a consequence of this and the fact that their fathers probably did not respect the sacrifice the mom was making by staying home, the sons took some crazy ideas with them to our houses where they stay and fester and drive us nutso.

In practical terms, this means that Billed Hours have Value and Preparation Time and Follow-Up do not. Of course, if you do not prepare and follow up, you will not continue to get work. But expect the second you finish that class the expectation is that you get on the bus to come home and walk the dog, or go to the bank or run some other errand that the very busy Dipendente cannot because he is forever working in the office (much harder than you, and bringing home more than you, so please be at his beck and call).

Here is a concrete example. For every hour of teaching, there is another hour of preparation if you want to do a good job. Professional teaching gigs pay more per hour because they take that extra time into consideration (teaching in the black does not). There is usually follow-up bureacracy to do as well. But the Employee does not know this and will always assume that the hour you teach is important but the preparation is not because you are not getting paid expressly for that time. Another reason that Every hour you bill counts even more.

By the way, Business Trips you take as an independent will never be compensated in the same way as the "Trasferta" the dipendente gets (which is why he almost never travels, by the way. It costs the business a fortune and is reserved for the big bosses and outside consultants for exactly this reason).

This means your expenses will be paid, but you will not get anything extra. Try telling that to the Dipendente. He will not understand. Result: the Business Trip is also a Vacation. So schedule in an afternoon flight the day you plan to come home, because it doesn't matter how little you sleep while you are gone, it will be business as usual the second you come home. In many cases, expect to double up on the work at home to "pay back" for the extra dog walks, kid time, and cleaning that you missed.

Conclusion:
Working independently takes self-discipline, grit, and skin like teflon. The outside accolades are few and far between and even those closest to us may not recognize that what what we are doing is really work.

Our job satisfaction must be intrinsic-- as in We have to produce it Ourselves. This is why I spend a great amount of time (and it always gets me in trouble) volunteering. I believe, like Napoleon Hill, that pay must be in many forms besides money, otherwise you will always be underpaid.

But I am a woman working in Italy and being judged by a male employee default, so I feel a pronounced need to to produce accurate data with measurable results. And the only thing that can truly be measured in terms of any kind of "value," unfortunately, is money.

Do not deprive yourself of the one factor that everyone understands-- your yearly salary. You work hard for every penny you make. Declare it with a roar, even if it means you have to give some away. That is the nature of the beast. Own it. If you are consistent you can take comfort in the fact that if your taxes are going up every year, it is because you are increasing your business. And that is always good news.

Wrapping Up the Year

This morning I taught three adult English classes for my friend Erin who went home to the States for Christmas. It was the first lesson for all three groups so I could do what I wanted without having to feel guilty about getting them off track, and, since they hadn't met Erin yet, their expectations were still low. Phyoo!

Here was my lesson plan. Yes, Try it at home! Especially number 3. 

1. INTRODUCTIONS. Who are you? Are you on my list? What is your perception about YOUR English? Where are you and where do you want to go?
2. FLUENCY SOUP RECIPE. Which is basically what this is talking about.
3. MAIN LESSON: WRAPPING UP 2014. 

Step 1. Take a piece of paper.

You have 5 minutes. Make a list of all of your victories and/or achievements for 2014. Yes, all of them: Personal, Professional. Big, Small. For all year. GO!

Step 2. Conversation. (in pairs and then the group)

How was that experience? Were your victories mostly personal or work-related? You probably remembered the big ones first and the most recent ones and then as you wrote you may have remembered some from earlier in the year. Any victories you want to share with us?

The takeaway here is that it reminds you that 2014 was a year of 12 months and not just the most recent one.

Step 3. Go back to that piece of paper.

You have 5 minutes. Make a list of everything you learned in 2014. These can be concrete lessons (I learned how to CODE) or life lessons (I learned that it is possible to live without wearing a watch). GO!

Step 4. Discuss the results. Focus on the experience, then share the ones you found most profound. Or silly. Or strange. Or surprising.

Step 5. Go back to that piece of paper.

Imagine it is December 31, 2015. You had the BEST YEAR EVER. What happened during the course of the year? Give me 5 or 6 big things. They can be material/monetary, personal achievements, professional recognition, you decide.

Step 6. Stop. Now. Write down three or four values you want to focus on for 2015. Here are some ideas: Health, Family, Prosperity, Transparency, Friendship, Leadership, Trust. Put them in order of importance.

Step 7, What values did you focus on? How can you reconcile your list of desires for 2015 with those values? Example: I want to earn A GAZILLION EUROS so that I can have more and higher-quality time with MY FAMILY. See What I am getting at here? Give those desires some real significance so you can make them come true.

4. CONCLUSION: Parting thoughts? Teacher listens.

5. GOOD BYE AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

FOLLOW-UP TO MAIN LESSON. PREPARING FOR 2015. 
1. WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS FOR 2015. ALL OF THEM. THE YEAR IS LONG.
2. WRITE OUT THE MONTHS FROM JANUARY TO DECEMBER. LEAVE THREE OR FOUR LINES BETWEEN THEM. 
3. COPY YOUR GOALS IN THE MONTH YOU PLAN ON STARTING AND FINISHING THEM. 
4. CHECK YOUR PROGRESS EACH QUARTER. 

IN THE MEANTIME...For more of this kind of stuff, here is the place. 

2015 is going to be OUR YEAR, People!!  

Communicating with the Menu- Part 4 The Foreigner Friendly Menu- Maurizio and Sandro Serva

I am going to use Maurizio and Sandro Serva as my example for this post. These guys have what we call PERSONALITY. Very important, as we said earlier, to communicate this somehow, even when your chefs aren't there to do it themselves.

I choose the Servas today because they have a playfulness that comes out in their food and their menu that I appreciate.

Surprises transcend language, and they are very good at giving you the unexpected. They also pay attention to every detail and what it tells you. Just look at pictures of their food to get an idea. Take a look at photos of the restaurant. Perfection.

I want to concentrate on the Foreigner Friendly menu here. In this case, their menu was mainly in English because we were outside of Italy. However, there are tricks to making sure the menu communicates effectively, even in a foreign language.

When you are presenting your menu outside of your country, there are some important choices to make about translation.

1. I can't stress this enough, but please do not translate the menu into a language that is not yours. You are really taking a risk with how you will be perceived by your guest.

2. When choosing a translator, make sure you choose a good writer. This is different than a good translator. Some of the worst menus I have ever seen in English have been translated accurately by rotten writers.

3. Give your dishes the dignity they deserve. Keep them in the original language. Below that you may describe them. Try to add something more than just what the title gives you. Complement the original text rather than duplicate it in the foreign language.

4. Assume your guest is sophisticated. Here is an example taken directly from the Serva menu from the Summit.

L'uovo di carciofo 

the egg artichoke

A brilliant and modern interpretation of the classic Italian Artichoke omelet.

 

 

This is well done. I would not have translated the name of the dish (even if I did. I probably did not want to take any liberties since I did not know Maurizio and Sandro yet). Notice how the description gives all of the information the title translated does, plus something more.

 

This was the winning dish of the Summit, for me, by the way. Outstanding.

 

Communicating with the Menu Part 3-- The Menu that Sings

Pino Cuttaia**, La Madia

One of the differences between a high-level dining experience and eating out at so-so place is the emphasis on Who's Cooking. The higher the level, the more visibility the Chef has.

So the menu in some way must communicate the Chef. During the Summit, the real master of this art was Pino Cuttaia. As I mentioned in my last post, I did not have the chance to eat at the Capital Club when he was the guest chef during the Summit, but I did have a chance to translate his menu.

And it sang to me.

Here is how. Each dish had a story-- just a couple of lines to explain the origins and importance of the dish. He talked about his native territory, his grandma.

His words were lovely and he was so human that you felt like having a meal with him is literally that: having a meal with HIM. At his House. At his Table.

That is what a well written menu can do. Oh, I should mention that this explanation wasn't actually meant for the menu. It was for the RECIPE. Yes, a chef communicating to the people who would be making the food with him.

That is where excellent communication skills come in. Cuttaia communicates the Culture behind the dishes to everyone who comes into contact with them.